


Don't let us go.

by Erulinaz



Category: The Rook (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Language, Multi, Other, Spoilers, Threesome? But not really since this is Gestalt with Myfanwy, smut in chapter 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-07 14:40:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20311162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erulinaz/pseuds/Erulinaz
Summary: Gestalt told Myfawny she could leave. They gave her the choice, and she decided to leave them behind. She needed time to discover who she really was without suffering anyone's expectation. And Gestalt was heartbroken.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!  
It has been a while since I have wrote a fanfic, plus I am French, so be indulgent with any grammar or vocabulary mistakes (I did my best). I hope you enjoy this new fanfic serie post season 1 :)

**Chapter 1 **

She was gone.

Myfanwy Thomas was gone for so many months by now.

She had left London, with a determined pace that she never had before. Gestalt saw the way she was walking, the way she was looking around her like if the world was hers. She was so different from the scared little mouse she used to be. And they knew that she was reaching her true purpose. Actually, they were falling in love with her all over again, because they were aware that, after all this time, they were finally in presence of the real Myfanwy Thomas, the one that died because of this fucking arsehole of Bristol. They thought they had lost her forever after the accident, but they were wrong, she was still there, deep inside, and on lucky days they could see her eyes shining like before.

Because of Bristol, she started fearing herself, her power, her own emotions. Gestalt was missing her, until they saw her watching towards them with a new confidence. ‘Eliza’ couldn’t help herself, she had to hug her, a hug meaning “welcome back”. ‘Robert’ wanted to kiss her, he didn’t do it, because he knew it wasn’t the right time. ‘Teddy’ was checking the house, just in case they had missed something. Gestalt knew they hadn’t missed anything, they were too good at their job, too efficient. But, at least, he was occupying himself, because with all the feelings put into ‘Teddy’’s body, they wouldn’t have been able to say to Myfanwy Thomas, the girl of their life, “I know you wanted to leave, and if you still do I… I won’t be angry. But I’ll miss you”. No, if they had let ‘Teddy’ near her, he would have kissed her and begged her to stay.

‘Alex’ had tears in the eyes, but Gestalt was certain that they were taking the right decision. Even at the end of this day, when the four bodies were laying in the bed, the sorrow making their heart ached, they knew they did what was best for Myfanwy. Despite all the pain, they needed to let her go, because they loved her. They sacrificed their own happiness for her to be free.

When Ingrid took Myfanwy’s desk, they tried to be genuinely happy for Ingrid, because she deserved the promotion.

When they were passing in front of Myfanwy’s former flat, they tried not to think of the time they spent there, with her.

When they were spotting a skinny girl in the crowd, they tried not to see Myfanwy in every faces they met.

They kept doing their job, they actually drowned themselves into it. It was helping them to forget about her, about their loneliness. However, when they were laying in their bed, they couldn’t stop thinking about her. Where was she? What was she doing? With whom? Was she happy? Did she… did she think about them… sometimes? No. No, probably not. Gestalt was a stranger to her. Plus, she didn’t need them like they needed her. She was so strong now.

They had a day off, so they decided to clean up their place. Usually, someone was doing it for them, but they couldn’t stay a full day without doing anything. It would have driven them insane. So, ‘Robert’ was taking care of the kitchen, ‘Teddy’ of the living room, ‘Alex’ of the bath room and ‘Eliza’ was in the bedroom. She was doing an inventory of their clothes when she suddenly stopped. They didn’t remember they had kept it._ Her_ jacket. Their heart ached one more time. Fuck, they didn’t miss her, she was tearing them apart. With ‘Eliza’’s mouth, Gestalt whispered “I don’t understand why she had said that to me”.

What Gestalt was meaning at this instant was: “Why Myfanwy told me she wanted to remember what we had? Why did she give me so much hope to never come back to me?”

But, at least, Myfanwy had to be happy. And it was the only thing that mattered.

Myfanwy was indeed happy. She was free. Not completely, of course; the Checquy was always keeping an eye on her, but she was feeling herself. She was feeling strong, powerful, beautiful. She was fighting against the dealers of EVAs. She was doing her best, she wanted to use her power to create a better world. She was going to bed feeling content with herself. But, sometimes, she felt that something was missing. And she was incapable to say what it was, so she brushed it off and tried to forget about it.

Until that night she woke up screaming and sweating.

“Nooo, please, nooo!!!”

The panic was so strong she felt nauseous. She was scanning the room in order to find what was the cause of this. The room was dark, silent, peaceful. The only thing she could hear was her heart pumping into her ears.

It must have been a nightmare.

She wasn’t sure her legs could carry her to the bath room, so she sat on the edge of her bed, waiting for herself to calm down. She was about to stand up when she remembered the nightmare that woke her up. It was about Bristol and Gestalt.

_ She was in Bristol’s room. In his bed. His sticky hands around her waist. He was looking at her like if she was a prey. A scared little mouse. She was feeling more and more uncomfortable. She tried to get up, but he was stronger than her. _

_“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked. _

_“I… I have plan with Eliza.” she explains with a small and quivering voice. _

_Bristol started laughing and laughing and laughing. After a while he stopped, and said: _

_“Don’t say Eliza, say the “circus freak” to speak about it. And no Myfanwy, you don’t have plan with it. You have plan with me, because you love me more than it, right? Right, Myfanwy?” _

_She didn’t answer, she couldn’t, in fact; her mouth had disappeared. Bristol laughed again. She didn’t understand and she tried to leave; she was so afraid. But she couldn’t leave. She couldn’t move, and yet Bristol wasn’t holding her any more. She tried to struggle until she saw it. She was a marionette and Bristol her marionettist. She was trapped into his webs, she was screaming and he was laughing a her. _

_“Now, Myfanwy, you are going to be a good girl.” _

_“No, no, please, let me go” she begged, in vain. _

_“Shht, don’t make things complicated. You have offended me you know. You have hurt me. You didn’t tell me you love me back and you even want to spend time with the freak. So, for me to forgive you, you are going to break their little heart”. _

_“What do you mean?” _

_“You are going to give them hope, oh yes, so much hope, before leaving them all alone.” _

_“No, no, I don’t want to leave them.” _

_“You have already so much blood on your hands, Myfanwy, I don’t even ask you to kill them with your power, only to rip their heart out of their chest with your absence.” _

_And the next thing that Myfanwy saw was Gestalt pointing their gun on their temples, and shouting. So much blood. Everywhere. She ran to reach them, but she couldn’t do anything. There was so much blood she couldn’t even see their faces._

“Gestalt” She murmured before starting crying.

“No, I am not Bristol’s marionette. And Gestalt is strong. It was just a nightmare.” she tried to reason with herself.

She drank a glass of water and got back to bed.

But she couldn’t sleep. She knew what was missing. Actually, she knew _who_ was missing. But they were part of her past and forgotten life, how could she find them a place in her present existence?

Fate seemed to answer her; Myfanwy noticed a new message on her phone. It was from a contact she had in the Resistance. “_EVAs being sold at London in a week. Go there and free them. Doesn’t matter if it became messy, your friends at the Checquy will take care of it. Like always. But don’t get yourself caught. F_.”. Myfanwy couldn’t help but smile. A strange warmth was irradiating inside her chest. She was coming back home, and she was going to be so close to Gestalt…


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myfawny had a mission in London, but the Checquy was never far away...

**Chapter 2**

She was back.

Myfanwy Thomas was back in London.

She was looking around her. She was feeling happy, as if she was coming back home from a long journey. Yes, that was the word, she was _home_. Even if her memories were still missing, for the essential, she was feeling something in the pit of her stomach. She was at the right place, at the right moment. She knew it.

But she wasn’t there for Gestalt. No, she had a mission to achieve.

She stopped dead in her tracks. What if she saw them? What if they saw her? What if they had lied to her and were angry at her? What if they…? No, no. Gestalt was out of the question for now. Plus, she was capable to handle any situation. It was not like if she was about to show up at the Checquy. She needed to be discrete, to do her damn job, and leave as soon as possible. She couldn’t be caught, because she knew the way Conrad would have done anything to get his former Rook back, especially now that she had unlocked her true potential.

She looked at her phone. She had three hours left before the auction sale began. She needed to prepare herself. And she also needed to take a shower.

She booked a room in a random hotel and let herself relax under the warm water. She was trying not to think about a possible encounter with Gestalt. She couldn’t help herself to feel a bit nervous. All this time she had tried to push those desires aside but she knew that she wanted to be back in their life. She wanted to keep her promise. She wanted to remember what they had. For now, she could only imagine their relationship, the intimacy they used to share together, the way their bodies seemed made for each others. And yet, because of her erased memory, all of this seemed unreal, like if it never happened. Even her kiss with Eliza, did it really happen? Of course, it happened.

At a party, three months ago, she had kissed a girl that she had found particularly attractive. But suddenly, she had stopped and had apologised to the girl before leaving. Myfanwy had remembered, at this moment, the way ‘Eliza’’s lips feel on hers, the ways ‘Eliza’ tasted, the way she was passionate and full of desires for her and her only. That night Myfanwy couldn’t stop touching her lips, as if ‘Eliza’’s presence was still tangible against them. Myfanwy also realised that no one could ever make her feel the way ‘Eliza’’s kiss made her feel: safe and loved. Yes, she knew that nothing could happen to her as long as Gestalt was around her.

And yet, she left them behind.

She wasn’t a scared little mouse any more. She was capable of taking care of herself and protecting herself. She was no damsel in distress. She needed to stop thinking about Gestalt like that. It could distract her from her mission. God dammit, she was even going to be late at this pace.

She stepped out of the shower. She went straight to her bag and picked a little black dress. She decided that the only colour she was wearing was going to be her red lipstick. She looked at herself in the mirror. She was gorgeous. And she knew it. She was feeling confident with herself. Everything was going to be okay. She was going to disturb the auction sale, to find a way to free the EVAs, to run away. Yes, she could do it. It wasn’t her first mission after all. She took a deep breath and did her best to stay focused on her job.

She was in place. Myfanwy was looking around her, while speaking to a man who was clearly trying to win her favour. She didn’t care about him, but he was helpful at this moment; she was able to investigate without seeming suspect.

The auction sale was about to end, she needed to act quickly. This was the perfect time: the EVAs were all together by now and since the sellers and organisers didn’t find problems, they must had dropped their guard down. She excused herself from the man and found the door she had noticed before. If the plans of the building given by the Resistance were exact, this room was leading to an underground. It was the only place in which the EVAs could have been imprisoned. She entered into the room, avoiding to be seen. Two guards were inside, but she was quick to knock them off thanks to her power. She had learnt to use it with efficiency. She inspected the ground, looking for a secret door or something similar. When she finally spotted it, screams stopped her. It wasn’t coming from the cave, but from the room she had just left. Fuck, what was going on? Why life couldn’t be easy for once?

She didn’t have the time to think about what to do: the door opened violently. She was about to use her power on the new arrival and the new arrival was about to shout her when they both stopped.

“Robert” Myfanwy said, with disbelief.

“Fuck.”

“I can explain to you...”

“Yeah, we have an interrogation room for that, Myfanwy.”

“Are you kidding me? You can’t bring me to the Checquy.”

‘Robert’ didn’t answer anything, he just took Myfanwy by her left arm and lead her to his car. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t happy, he was tired of this game, and he was feeling that, for once, he had the right to be selfish and to not let her go that easily.

When ‘Robert’ had touched her, Myfanwy didn’t fight. She was in a shitty situation. But at least, she was with Gestalt. ‘Teddy’ was driving the car. He was silent, glancing at her time to time, like to assure himself that Myfanwy Thomas was really there, in the same car than him.

If ‘Teddy’ was keeping the posture of someone collected and calm, ‘Alex’, who was watching security cameras recordings, was biting his nails. Fuck, _she _was there. ‘Robert’ even touched her. Fuck,_ s__he_ was back.

But not for them.

Gestalt was grateful she wasn’t fighting them because they wouldn’t have bear it. She was silent and almost docile when they brought her in one of the cells they had at the Checquy. They didn’t want to restrain her, but it was the procedure. She was an EVA, a powerful one, she could be dangerous. And they needed to do their job.

They left her an hour in there. Not because they wanted to make her wait the way they had waited for her to come back, but because everybody was busy. The auction sale was a trap, and the Checquy hadn’t thought it would have worked that good. The presence of Myfanwy was making things even more complicated. Like she always did.

Gestalt didn’t want to talk to her.

No, it was a lie. They wanted it, so badly.

But not now, not like that.

However, Conrad didn’t give them the choice; he had an angry Jennifer to take care of first. Maybe he should had talked to her about it before she discovered the news on TV. Anyway, now Gestalt needed to interrogate Myfanwy themselves. And it was killing them. They thought a long time about which body or bodies was or were better for this interrogation. Alright, let’s say two bodies. ‘Teddy’ was a good option because he was the more professional one. Plus, he could physically stand to be near her. But Gestalt didn’t want to make Myfanwy uncomfortable. ‘Teddy’ could be a bit cold. That was why ‘Eliza’ needed to come down with ‘Teddy’. Great, they were going to play the Bad and the Good cops with Myfanwy. Brilliant idea, really. They sighted. They didn’t have other option; they needed to obey Conrad.

‘Teddy’ and ‘Eliza’ walked down to her cell, hearts beating in their hurting chests.

They would never be able to make her stay.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gestalt and Myfawny were spread apart by their new life and the desire they had for each other.

**Chapter 3**

‘Teddy’ entered the room first. It was the only way for Gestalt to create a wall between them and Myfanwy. ‘Eliza’ came after turning off the security cameras of the room. She offered the ghost of a smile to Myfanwy. She sat down, ‘Teddy’ leaned on the wall, both staring at their former _friend_.

“Are we really doing this?” Myfanwy asked, sounding more harsh that she intended to.

“What do you want us to do, hum?” ‘Teddy’ answered with coldness. “You were not supposed to be there.”

“Ah yes? And where was I supposed to be?”

_Waiting for me, at my place. Or in my office. Or somewhere you knew you would have found me._

“That’s not the fucking question, Myfanwy” ‘Eliza’ spoke “Don’t make my job harder than it is already. So, please, just answer me.”

“Alright, then. What do you want to know?”

_Why did you let me down? Why did you never contact me? Why didn’t you try to remember what we had?_

“You are working with the Resistance?”

“Yes.”

“Ah, I see, your sister must be happy about it.”

“That is not even a question, Gestalt, so why talking about her?”

_Because she made you leave me._

“What was your mission?”

“Freeing the EVAs.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“You free the EVAs and that’s it?”

“Yes.”

“Fuck. You really didn’t give a shit about the consequences.”

“I thought the Checquy was there to clean up the mess.”

_You are the only mess I can’t clean up._

“You were alone on that mission?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“How can we be sure you are saying the truth?”

“You can’t, and since you have stopped trusting me...”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Myfanwy? You never stopped lying to me…”

“Is it what all of this is about? You said you weren’t going to be angry at me if I left, maybe you are the one who lied after all.”

‘Teddy’ stormed out of the room. ‘Eliza’ stayed, looking intensely at Myfanwy.

“I am not angry.”

_I am hurt._

“Oh. I… I see. You are hurt, right?” Myfanwy said, like if she was capable to read into Gestalt’s mind. That was something they always liked about her; her capacity to understand without words being said. ‘Eliza’ didn’t answer anything, she knew her voice would have conveyed all her sorrow when Gestalt wanted to seem like someone who had accepted their fate. The circus freak’s fate. “For what it worth, Gestalt, I… I am sorry. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you. Really. I needed to discover myself and to find my true purpose in this world.”

_Away from me._

“I understand.”

“That’s it? You understand?”

“What do you want from me? What do you want to me to say, Myfanwy?”

“Did you… did you wait for me to come back?”

“I am still waiting.”

Myfanwy’s eyes widen. No, no Gestalt, don’t say something like that. She wanted to run into her arms and told her that she was here, she was back. But she was restrained and Conrad entered into the room.

Conrad tried to convince Myfanwy to come back. Her power was an asset, her knowledge was an other, and her presence would calm down Gestalt who was always tensed since she was gone. But Myfanwy wanted to help the EVAs, more than everything. She was an idealist, like Conrad used to be. She was refreshing. The Checquy needed her.

“What are you going to do with me?” Myfanwy asked, when Conrad was about to leave the room.

“I don’t know yet. Probably waiting for the Resistance to come here. I have some questions to ask them.”

“They are not going down here to rescue me.”

“Will see.”

“So what? Am I going to stay here? In this cell?”

“Gestalt will bring you to your former flat. We are not your enemies, Myfanwy.”

‘Robert’ untied her and she followed behind him. ‘Alex’ was in the car with ‘Eliza’. None of them uttered a single word during the ride. The silence was oppressing, full of unsaid things. They were all feeling so miserable. They were in the same space that the person they loved and yet it was like if they weren’t sharing the same reality.

The car stopped. They got out of the car and into the flat. Nothing had changed since she left. And yet, Myfanwy didn’t have the impression it was her place any more. If the deco was still the same, she wasn’t the same person. She had grown up. And all of this wasn’t her taste any longer.

Gestalt was looking at her, analysing the way she was observing the place. She had looked the same when she had arrived at Glengrove. She had watched the place with this same disapproval stare. Fuck, she was beautiful. ‘Alex’ started biting his nail. Myfanwy caught the movement in the corner of her eyes. She grabbed ‘Alex’’s arm and told him:

“Bad habit. I already told you.”

Gestalt was about to replied but Myfanwy’s lips crashed on ‘Alex’’s one, cutting them off. Fuck, what was she doing? Was she… kissing them, like they dreamt about it so many times? Gestalt didn’t answer the kiss, they were too taken aback. But Myfanwy didn’t stop. Her hands caught hold of his curly hair, ‘Alex’ couldn’t stop a moan from escaping his lips, and this time he answered her kiss. It was so good to be finally able to touch her, feel her against their skin. But they needed to feel more. They needed to feel all of her. It was so good to see themselves with Myfanwy through ‘Eliza’’s eyes. They weren’t dreaming. ‘Alex’’s hands were resting on her hips, their grips were tightening in the same time their kiss was deepening. They weren’t going to let her go this time. Not any more. ‘Eliza’ came from behind Myfawny and started kissing her neck, before biting it. ‘Eliza’’s hands were at the edge of Myfanwy’s dress. Slowly, she put her hands under it and caressed Myfanwy’s tights.

“Undress me” the skinny girl said in a raspy voice

Gestalt didn’t think twice about it this time. ‘Eliza’ unzipped Myfanwy’s dress which fell on the ground. They started to kiss her all over again, their hands dancing on her skin, roaming every part of her.

“Are you keeping your clothes on?”

Fuck, Gestalt couldn’t think by themselves when Myfawny was with them. They obeyed before rushing Myfanwy toward her former bedroom. They pushed her on the bed. ‘Eliza’ took off her bra, while ‘Alex’ did the same with her panties. Myfanwy was letting them do. ‘Alex’ was kissing her foot, get up along her leg to reach her inner tight. He kissed a little longer her scars. Then he stopped, repeating his kisses and caresses on the other leg. Myfanwy let escape a moan of eagerness. Gestalt wasn’t fast enough for her. They get the message and ‘Eliza’ get on top of her. She caught Myfanwny’s hand on hers and pinned them above her head, at the same time, Eliza was moving her mouth from her neck down her breast. She licked her skin and teased Myfanwy until she heard her saying:

“Fuck, please, Gestalt, no more teasing.”

“Are you sure it is what you want, Myf?”

“Hell yes.”

‘Alex’ stood up, letting ‘Eliza’ take his place between Myfanwy’s legs. He put Myfanwy’s head on his lap, and showered her with unuttered affection and miss. Gestalt wanted to see themselves pleasuring the woman they loved. ‘Eliza’ smiled, she adored the feel of Myfanwy’s skin against her lips. She sank to her knees to lick Myfawny’s clit. Myfawny arched her back and begged for more. ‘Eliza’ did as Myfawny told her and sucked her wet sex. She ate her out like if she was the most tasteful feast she ever touched. Maybe Myfanwy was, after all. Myfanwy was moving her hips, more and more closed to her orgasm. ‘Eliza’ slid two fingers inside of her, searching for her G-spot. ‘Eliza’ was slow and soft. And she knew she found it when Myfanwy cried out. She was now kissing her inner tight, while her fingers were stroking her sensitive clitoris and caressing the inside of her.

“Are you going to reach your climax for me, Myf?” ‘Alex’ asked her with a wicked grin.

“Yes!!!”

Myfawny’s orgasm made her legs to shake and her toes to curl up. She closed her eyes. She arched her back one more time before letting herself rest on the bed and on ‘Alex’’s laps. ‘Eliza’ took her into her arms, kissing her face. Gestalt couldn’t stop themselves from touching her. They needed to keep her close to them. When Myfawny opened her eyes again she met two smiling and relieved faces. She wasn’t sure she had ever seen Gestalt being so happy. She slowly sat down.

“Waoh. That was… That was very good. Well… It’s an understatement actually.”

“I wanted to do it for so long.” They said in unison

“I wanted it too.” Myfawny admitted and she saw hope raising into Gestalt’s eyes. “I… I need to take a shower I think. And I am hungry too.”

“Chinese take out?”

“Sounds great.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Choice time for Myfawny Thomas.

**Last Chapter**

Myfawny was in her bathroom. She was drying her hair and body. She didn’t know what to feel. She had made love with the person she liked the most, and yet she wasn’t sure of her action. Actually, she was uncertain of the consequences of it. For the first time since her departure, which was also the beginning of a new life for her, she never felt hesitation. But it had been easy to move on without looking behind her, she didn’t remember her previous life after all. Gestalt was making a big difference. She was mixing her past with her new life. She wasn’t sure she could handle it. At the same time, she wanted to try it, for Gestalt, for the individuals who had always protected her, always cherished and loved her. They always been by her side, they even let her hurt them.

In the living room, Gestalt was laying the table. The food was ready. ‘Eliza’ and ‘Alex’ weren’t alone any more. ‘Robert’ and ‘Teddy’ were also there. Gestalt wanted to be all present for the discussion they intended to have with Myfanwy. They were hoping that she hadn’t manipulated them. They put all their love for her on this sexual act, and now their were afraid it was a way for her to disappear from their life, one more time. No. She started this heated moment because she desired them like they desired her. It couldn’t be a trick.

“Oh, you are all there.” She said, a bit surprise when she arrived into the living room.

“We need to talk” Teddy answered

“Nothing good ever comes from this sentence.” she laughted, but her smile quickly faded away when she noticed Gestalt’s seriousness, visible in all their bodies. “Alright, I listen to you, then.”

She sat at the table, and took a plate of food, waiting for Gestalt to talk, even if she already knew what they had to say.

“I don’t want you to leave. Again” They explained, in unison.

“I know. I know that. But I am part of the Resistance now.”

“So what? I am sure that Conrad would agree to find a compromise with the Resistance. You are aware that the Checquy experiences a lot of changes recently.”

“Yes, maybe, but...”

“So what? You make me fuck you and then you push me away? No, Myfanwy, you don’t understand” ‘Robert’ said.

“I am not going to go through that shit again” ‘Teddy added’. “Stop fucking with me. For once.”

“What do you want from me? From _us_?” ‘Eliza’ asked

The thing was that Myfawny didn’t know herself.

“Do you love me?” She asked in a murmur

“Yes, I do love you. You know it.” Robert said

“The real question is do _you_ love me back, Myfanwy?” ‘Eliza” continued.

“I definitively feel an attraction towards you and… and I think a lot about you. And I really meant what I told you that night. But I don’t know if I still mean it. My life have changed so much since that day.”

“And I can’t be part of it? Was it a goodbye sex?”

“No! No, it wasn’t!” Myfawny exclaimed. She was surprised by her own reaction. But could she lost the only person that made her safe? That truly cared about her? That never betrayed her?

“What are we doing then? It is up to you and you know it.”

“I...” She didn’t have the chance to end her sentence. Her phone was ringing. Must be F. “I need to take it.”

Gestalt didn’t move. She answered her phone.

“Myfanwy, where are you? Are you OK?”

“I am at my former flat. And yes I am fine.”

“Are you sure? Are the Checquy holding you in hostage or something like that?”

“No! Of course not! Well… kind of… Well I don’t really know. Wait a second, please. Gestalt, what are you doing? Are you leaving?”

“You don’t need me to fuck you, so yeah. I let you think about all of it. At the end of the line, it will be your choice to fuck me up or no.”

“Are you locking me up into my own flat?”

“Oh no, you can leave if you want. I don’t care.”

This last statement let a bitter taste inside of Gestalt’s mouths. Of course, they cared, they always did. Myfanwy watched them leave, unable to know what to do. She was feeling so stupid. She ended her conversation with F. They agreed on a meeting with Conrad, to find a way to keep the Checquy and the British government out of the Resistance. She was feeling sick and Gestalt heartbroken.

She woke up in the middle of the night. And the first thing she thought was that she was alone. Yes, of course, she was alone, why wouldn’t she be? Because Gestalt should have been there, with her. She got up. Fuck all of this. Fuck her fears to mix her present with her past. She just needed to make Gestalt part of her present and all the problems were gone! Plus, Conrad always been more diplomat than Linda, a compromise was indeed possible! She wasn’t a scared little mouse any more! She needed to act. Now.

She got dressed, rushed outside and found a taxi. Without having really think about it, she was outside Gestalt’s place. It was the middle of the night and she was there, standing alone in the dark. Perhaps, she should have called first. Never mind! She could call now. She found ‘Eliza’’s number and dialled it. Someone quickly picked up.

“Yeah?”

“Gestalt? It’s me.”

“Myfawny? What’s up? Something wrong?” ‘Eliza’’s concern made Myfanwy smiled: despite everything, Gestalt always cared about her. She knew it.

“I am here.”

“What? What does that mean?”

“That's quite simple. Look out of your window.”

‘Eliza’ appeared at the window. Myfanwy didn’t need to see her face to know that she was utterly confused. What the fuck, Myfanwy?

“Alright, I need an explanation. Quick. What are you doing here?”

“Maybe I could go up to your place. We have a discussion to finish.”

“I am coming.”

‘Eliza’ hang up and disappeared from behind the window. Myfanwy waited a few minutes before seeing ‘Eliza’ running towards her.

“What the fuck, Myfanwy? Do you know what time it is…?”

Myfanwy cut her off by kissing her. It wasn’t the same kind of kiss than earlier. There was no lust in it, just love and tenderness. Myfanwy cupped 'Eliza''s face with her hands and forced them to look in her eyes when she parted away from them. Gestalt's hearts were beating so fast. Was it a goodbye kiss? No, no, please.

“I don’t want to remember what we had, Gestalt, I want to build with you what we should already have”.

This time, ‘Eliza’ was the one kissing Myfanwy as if their own life depended on it. They pulled her into a hug, unable to break it, not because they feared that Myfanwy dispeared, but because they needed to wash away from them this cruel feeling of miss. Now, they were complete.

Gestalt was tired the following morning. Probably because they had spent the night cuddling with Myfanwy. They had changed positions all the time, because they wanted to feel Myfanwy with all of them. When they eventualy fell asleep, they were the five of them, a tangled mess. Gestalt was also really late the next morning. What woke up them was a call from Conrad who was freaking out: he discovered Myfanwy’s empty flat. It was totally worth it, though.

And they couldn’t wait for an existence with her by their side.


End file.
